A NIP IN THE AIR

By Philip Evans

There’s a definite Autumn nip in the air at the moment.

I go out clad in my thick pullover, a coat, and a furry hat I bought in Germany.

I pass a few friends on my way to the local shop, and we make a few comments to each such as ‘nasty cold wind about this morning’ or ‘winter’s on its way’ and other erudite statements.

I get into the shop, glad to get out of the breeze. There are two girls customers in the shop. Aged about 18, they are both wearing jeans slung so low on their hips that one can nearly see the top of their bum. These jeans are unsupported by a belt with a huge buckle on it.

One is wearing a flimsy short sleeve blue shirt, the other an equally flimsy red shirt. And between the jeans and the shirt there is about six inches of bare flesh.

Surely they must be freezing.

I have a sudden wish to know if that flesh is cold or keeps warm.

I don’t like to ask them.

I almost touch one of them to check out for myself, but hold back because I realize I’d probably be arrested for harassment, sent to prison, put on the offenders’ list, appear on the front page of our local paper and have to pay about twenty thousand pounds in compensation.

It isn’t really worth it.

So, if any reader has a daughter or grand-daughter who is one of the thousand of young women wearing that chilly uniform, would they please ask them about it, and let me know.

While you are at it. Could you also find out why they carry bottles of cold water around with them almost all the time.