Celebrities

by Philip Evans

Am I missing something?

Every day, I hear or read about celebrities.

BUT I HAVE NEVER HEARD OF ANY OF THEM!

I settle down to watch TV Programmes with titles like “celebrities half – hour” or meet the celebrities with Jemima Halfbright”, or Celebrity knock-out” but when they appear I don’t recognize a single face. Not one of them.

And generally after five minutes I don’t want to recognize any of ‘em either.

But who are they, these hundreds of ‘celebrities’ we read about?

Variously described in magazines and newspapers as ‘the TV presenter’ (appeared twice in a remote fashion programme on an obscure channel) or ‘the drummer in Jellybabies’ ( had a big hit in 1989 now all permanently stoned) or ‘model’ (regularly strips off for a tenner) or ‘well-known Soap Opera actor ‘ (Three times in Coronation Street last year)

Most of them appear to have been involved in sex scandals, drug problems, multiple marriages, plastic surgery or done something disgusting on a Reality Show.

No I don’t know any of them.

Ignorance is Bliss.

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