Granny Column

Grannyhood comes upon one very quickly – no sooner have we recovered from empty nest syndrome we have mother of the bride/groom syndrome – and at a time in our lives when we long to be free of what seems like a life time of parental paranoia new emotions hit us like a ten ton lorry.

I did not prescribe my first grandchild she was the result of a bargain struck by her parents – they had survived a serious blip in their newish marriage and this mother’s prescription was to live together learning some sort of compromise and never to think that babies were a sort of emotional polyfilla for a crumbly relationship.

As the mother of five children myself I knew as certainly as night follows day that marriages survive despite children not because of them. However, as history has proved with monotonous regularity children do not listen to their parents advice – we are old and past it and don’t know or remember what it is like to be young and sexually active!

Son number one wanted to do a years work experience abroad to benefit his career – son number one’s wife would only contemplate such a move (her career was understandably an issue) if a baby was planned – it was and it happened with alarming alacrity.

Son number one was hurt when this mother/granny’s reaction to their high fertility -rating------- was not one of elation – so I felt bad (how easy it is to induce in a mother this feeling of guilt) and I’ve been proved wrong – the marriage has survived and the pollyfilla baby is a beautiful and clever princess – although the parents had stated a marked preference for a prince.

 I have always been able to predict the sex of any baby with my wedding ring and a piece of the mother’s hair and had diagnosed a female… the ubiquitous scan that to me looked like a weather forecast had, they assured me, revealed male accoutrements.. I was instructed to line the bassinet with blue material and wait the arrival of Oliver.

Isobel arrived on the due date and this witch was smug

This then was my introduction to the new kingdom of Granny: - At the same time as we are learning granny most of us are also doing caring daughter – our parents are often ailing and are transmorphing into children…watch this space

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