Hell

Subject: Hell explained by a Chemistry student - Well worth a read The

following is an actual question given on a University of Washington

chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the

professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of

course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :Bonus

Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs

heat)?Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law

(gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some

variant. One student, however, wrote the following: First, we need to know

how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at

which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I

think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not

leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering

Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world

today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their

religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these

religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can

project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are,

we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now,

we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law

states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the

same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are

added. This gives two possibilities:1. If Hell is expanding at a slower

rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and

pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.2. If Hell is

expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the

temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. So which is

it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman

year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and

take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number

two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has

already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has

frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is

therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the

existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept

shouting 'Oh my God.' THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY 'A

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