Hell

Subject: Hell explained by a Chemistry student - Well worth a read The
following is an actual question given on a University of Washington
chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the
professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of
course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :Bonus
Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs
heat)?Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law
(gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some
variant. One student, however, wrote the following: First, we need to know
how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at
which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I
think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not
leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering
Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world
today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their
religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these
religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can
project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are,
we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now,
we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law
states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the
same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are
added. This gives two possibilities:1. If Hell is expanding at a slower
rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and
pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.2. If Hell is
expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the
temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. So which is
it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman
year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and
take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number
two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has
already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has
frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is
therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the
existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept
shouting 'Oh my God.' THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY 'A