Letter 30

Thursday 11th May 1933

We had rather a pleasant class today with Prof. Sachs – the violin, how it is made and why. Not one scrap of the instrument is purely ornamental – and every little twist and bend has its meaning, and I can tell you them all! Also what wood it is made of, and how American firms were paying for the finished model with strings! Namely two dollars. Consequently the Mittenwalder violin settlement must go to pot. Second lesson was even better fun wandering round amongst the Harpsichords, spinets, and clavichords in the musuem. I made one or two intelligent answers which is a great step up in the world for me. I usually sit as mum as a fish. I haven’t asked about the clavichords. I just try them over on my own account. It’s quite a different technique from piano. It is possible to play vibrato as on a violin.

I am feeling rather low because I can’t go to Weistersinger. No students’ tickets. I shall have to content myself with Carmennext week, and I wanted to go to Rosenkavalier, but that’s Sunday and I shall be in Stettin.

I’ve just heard another home truth about myself. Let me tell you that I am a typical Englishwoman – stiff and reserved and no artist. Everything goes in and Bumps! Never comes out again. An Artist Lives and lets Everything out! I quote a young Englishwoman who is learning piano with Schnabel (she didn’t say it to me, of course) and let me tell you that she was quite unmoved by the fact that when she accompanied me I was more than half a tone sharp and couldn’t do anything about it. In fact she urged me to go on saying “they won’t notice”. Well, if that’s artistic I’m glad I’m not! I should play my level best even if it were to a crowd of children in a gutter, and I should feel uncomfortable if it went wrong (Touche, my dear? Yes, I was although I still think it comic). That’s the first time I ever heard a remark about my musical capacity – it’s usually my poor old face that gets the boot thrown at it. As to Lilian, she is a very charming lively little person and plays the piano a treat, and I’m sure she’s an artist in that line – for all I know she’s a musician too.

Quartets was even worse than I said it would be. Half way through Thiele said he had to catch a train so we had to play trios. Well, the wretched child stayed and ate sandwiches and stared at me, so the trio dwindled into a duet which I tried to disturb as little as possible by laughing silently. I couldn’t see in the end because my eyes were full of rears, and Thiele, with his mouth full, nearly had apoplexy. The others drove him out after that. I am hopelessly uncontrolled and so Thiele told me. Conrad and I had lunch together – I had Sauerkraut and potatoes and he had Bockwurst. Doesn’t that sound German? An American asked me a question in German and I couldn’t understand so answered him in English which he couldn’t understand. My opinion of Americans is low.

I am getting fat! Personally I can’t see any difference – but Frau W. exclaims at my immense proportions whenever she sees me and so does Frau Frost. I can’t think why, except that all wind players do get fat, and I expect I have started on the downward path.

I went down the Berlinstrasse today to collect some money from Werner and return his novel. The street was full of soldiers – horses and camouflaged carts and fifes and what not. I loathe the Berlinestr. You can walk straight from the Alexanderplatz for at least three hours, on and on. Now I like a street that hustles round corners, bumps down steps, blows itself into a square, oozles into an alley, and finally brings up with a jerk against a brick wall with broken glass along the top and mysterious tree showing against the skyline. That’s what I like. There’s nothing subtle about the Berlinerstrasse. It’s just a highway with 8 rows of trees. “But heavens Woman! No street was ever intended to be subtle!” “Ah! But I like things to be what they were never intended to be. I like to use my tooth mug as a flower vase, and the piano as a cheese safe.” Which brings me back to Englishestrasse, and I have actually done a row of counterpoint and a harmony exercise.