MY RIGHT THUMB

by Philip Evans

I was eating some cold toast and Marmite the other day, when it struck me what an important part of my anatomy my right thumb is!

It has played a major part in my life. In my very early days it was useful for sucking, then when a youth, I used it to ring my bicycle bell. In my military days it was reliable for sticking up in group photographs, and it was also employed when hitch-hiking.

I am afraid that since those exciting days I have taken it for granted. Just used it – not given it any serious thought.

Now it is getting its own back! I don’t blame it. I do the same thing when I am taken for granted.

My right thumb is now arthritic! Hence the comment about the Marmite.

I had done the buttered toast, and licking my lips in anticipation casually reached for the Marmite pot - but could not get the lid off!!

I tried, and tried and tried – I like hot buttered toast and Marmite – but my thumb hurt so much and had such little strength in it, I could not budge the *!* lid.

Using language which made Gordon Ramsay sound like a Sunday School teacher, I eventually gave up and went round to my next door neighbour, and asked her to open it for me. Talk about humiliation. She opened the blasted thing with one slight turn of the wrist . I thanked her and hurried back home.

In my view cold toast and Marmite is not nearly as good as hot toast and Marmite. Anyhow I had used all my bread

I’ve bought one of those gadgets for opening lids now, and they are very useful, once you get used to them.

But be careful with Honey Pots. Sometime the lids are beveled and shiny. Yesterday I tried to…..well, if you haven’t spent hours on the kitchen floor trying to clear up a smashed jar of runny honey, you haven’t suffered.