SATURDAY

Philip Evans

I hate Saturdays. Everyone is busy doing their own thing and I feel a bit left out.

Last Saturday I didn't get up till 11.

I had a quick shower, and dressed.. Still in a dream I remembered I had to take my special eye drops and nasal drops. I lay back on the bed, yawned, took my nasal drops and promptly popped the liquid into my eyes.I suddenly realized what I had done.

I shouted "You stupid old fool Wake up, for God's sake!"

I looked at the Nasal Drop package; it said "AVOID CONTACT WITH THE EYES" I dashed into the bathroom, and grabbed an eye-bath.

As usual, when I use an eye-bath, about 20% of the liquid goes in the eye and the rest goes down my face and over my shirt front. As, on this occasion, I washed both eyes, I was pretty wet.

While I was putting on a dry shirt I suddenly thought `what if this has done some damage to my eyes?' Being Saturday the local surgery was closed, so I drove to Cheltenham A& E.

I parked by the NO ENTRY ambulance park and seeing an official looking chap standing outside A& E asked if I would be OK there. He said he thought I would as there was not much about. So I left my car and reported in.

I was told I would see a nurse within 20 minutes.

Two things dawned on me during those 20 minutes. 1) My eyes were perfectly all right. 2) The man I asked about the parking was a fellow patient.

I was just about to sneak out and go home when I was called in to see the Triage Nurse. It was worth all the humiliation. She was, what in my young and frisky days, we would have called a `stunner', a `corker', a 'smasher', or even a 'bobby-dazzler'. She laughed when I told her how stupid I felt, she asked me if my eyes stung. I shook my head. She said she was pretty sure I was OK but she would just check with the duty doctor. She was back in two minutes, smiling broadly and said I should be fine, but could see another doctor if I wished.

I thanked her, we both laughed, and I went out - she had made my day.

Oh, and my car was still untroubled.

I wonder if, on another miserable Saturday, I knew that that delightful Triage nurse was on duty, it might be worth putting my eye drops up my nose and reporting to Cheltenham A & E.